Carnival Dream - water slide - theTwister

The Carnival Dream has a 104 ft water slide called the Twister. It goes up about 3 floors then spirals around and round and dumps you out in a trough full of water about 2 ft deep. This stops you but if it didn’t, there’s a spring board at the end of the trough that’ll do the trick. Now at 57 years old, it’s probably not the smartest thing in the world to go down it. Barbi and I watched as a little girl probably 3 ½ or 4 followed her brothers up the staircase to the top. She barely made it to the “you must be this tall to ride this slide” sign. Once on top, she started crying and started back down the stairs. Her big brother yelled at her and she started back up. Dad, who was watching from below yelled up “she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want.” She started back down. Dad started up. Big brother ran down to her and said something. She went back up and went through the tube. She liked it so much, she did it again. So on our first full day at sea, ol’ uncle Ron went down the Twister. You grab hold of this bar and give yourself a good shove into the tube. Now you are a human toboggan. Every ten feet there is a connecting tube. That connection acts as a speed bump on your back. Every twist and turn tries to roll you over and your whole body tenses. It only takes maybe five to ten seconds to get to the bottom, but that’s long enough to cramp up every muscle you got. Then you are shot out into the trough. Hitting the water, you immediately get the enema of your life. The only reason you don’t let go is that your swim suit is shoved up there right behind the water. Then the water continues to the face where it tries to drown you by going up your nose and into your mouth. Those orifices, acting as human speed brakes stop you and you immediately sit up. Now everything comes running out your nose including whatever has been up there holding on, and now it’s dangling like the mousse from “Something About Mary.” Now you would think that a ship with facial recognition technology for their picture taking, and security for getting on and off the ship would have something equally techie for the slide. But no, they have a young girl at the bottom holding a sign. One side is stop and the other go. When you come shooting out the tube into the trough, she holds up the 'stop' sign. When you get out of the trough with your swimsuit to your neck, she flips it to the 'go' side. So, as if your not anxious enough to get out of that trough, now you have more incentive. So you stand up. You are cramped, there’s snot hanging off your face, and your waistband is nipple high causing the roughest wedgy you ever had. All your friends are standing there cheering and asking “How was it?” You try to answer “Cool!” but all that comes out is a gurgling sound as water jets from your mouth like Linda Blair’s projectile vomiting in the Exorcist. I shoulda known better. But ask me how I liked it, my response will be “Cool!”
Video on You Tube